Blog Talk Radio: Should BW Consider White & Non-Black Men?

Yes! Check out this Blog Talk Radio program featuring author Karyn Folan. Her book about IR marriage is due out in February 2010.

Dissertation Study on Interracial Marriage

What is the purpose of this study?

The purpose of this study is to investigate the relationship between interactional styles, religious beliefs, and social support on interracial marriage satisfaction. This study is an effort to better understand the experience of social support in interracial marriages and the impact it has on the satisfaction of the married partners.

Who can participate?

I am looking for volunteers to participate in this study. At this time, the study is limited to legally married, heterosexual, interracial couples. The interracial pairings that this study is specifically looking at are Black/White (the longest history of interracial couples in the US) and Asian/White (the fastest growing group of interracial marriages).

Volunteers must meet the following requirements to participate:

1. Must currently be in a heterosexual, interracial marriage. This study is solely recruiting Black/White and Asian/White couples.
2. You must have been married for at least one year.
3. Both partners must be 18 years of age or older.
4. Both partners must speak proficient English.
5. Both partners must be US residents.

What will be asked of me as a participant?

In order to carry out this study, volunteers will be asked to fill out a series of questionnaires that will take approximately 10-20 minutes to complete. These questionnaires ask questions about interaction, religion, social support, and relationship satisfaction. Both the husband and the wife must fill out the questionnaires and are asked to do so separately. Participants are asked to refrain from discussing the questionnaire until both partners have completed the study. Survey responses will be kept confidential and participants may choose to refrain from providing any identifying information.

How do I volunteer? Who do I contact?

To volunteer, please send an email to

interracialmarriagestudy@gmail.com

You will receive a response asking some preliminary questions to ensure you and your spouse meet the requirements for participating in the study. If so, you will be given an ID code for you and your spouse, and the option to complete either an online questionnaire or have the questionnaire mailed to you. Questionnaire information and details of participating in the study will be provided to those that volunteer

What do I gain from volunteering?

While there are no individual benefits from participating in this study, your involvment will assist in deepening scientific understanding of factors that affect satisfaction in interracial marriages. Additionally, upon completion of the questionnaires, you may choose to enter into a drawing for one of two $50 gift certificates to either Target or Crate and Barrel. This drawing will be open to all participants in this study and is voluntary

Afro-Punk and Alternative Black Culture

If you can't view the trailer linked above, click here.




It's crazy how I can relate to this. Crazy. I'm sure many of you can relate to this too.

Though the film's subject matter is not directly related to IRs, IRs are very much a subject of discussion in the film. The documentary seems to largely deal with the subject of being an outsider, embracing being different, and not conforming to social norms (i.e. the acting black crew). It may be worth checking out.




For more info click here and here.

If You Want A Serious Relationship, Stop Having Casual Sex

A lot of women don't understand why this is significant. It's quite simple actually.

If you're engaging in casual sex with men but wanting to have a serious relationship- you're actions are betraying your words. You're sending mixed messages to the universe about what it is that you really want. So stop.

Sex is a wonderful and magical experience; but it's not something to take lightly either.

Writing and Successful Online Dating Profile

I know so many people who have found their husbands/wives online, you have no idea. There really is no longer any shame or stigma attached to online dating. So what are you waiting for, jump in the pool!

Good dating sites like Chemistry.com or Eharmony.com can help you cut through a lot of the dating BS. If you meet someone in a bar that you have (or think you have) chemistry with you still have to flesh them out and see if you’re compatible in other ways. Sites like Eharmony.com have already done that hard work for you by pairing you up with people based on the questionnaire your submitted when registering. All you have to do establish is if the two of you have any chemistry.

An online dating profile is not something to take lightly- especially if you’re looking for something serious. Take the time to craft your profile. Also consider having professional pictures taken; you’ll get a better guy with a better picture, really. In your photo arsenal you should have a head shot and several full length or full body shots; and of course, always smile in your pictures!

When you go to write your profile consider the following:

1. You'll need a provocative screen name and headline.
Now this isn't a license to be overly sexual in your profile but, keep in mind that after your picture your screen-name and headline will be the second thing he'll notice about you. Use your screen name to describe your best feature (i.e. Long Legged Lisa, Brown Eyed Beauty, etc.) Don't give yourself a name that focuses on something else (i.e. Dog Lover or ShakiraFan), it’s a distraction and this profile is supposed to be all about you.

2. Keep it short and sweet.
Try to limit your profile to no more than 4 or 5 paragraphs. People have short attention spans so keep things concise. Lead with what you bring to the relationship table. This is no time to be modest. Use fun and exciting words to describe yourself and avoid terms that are overly sexual.

3. Be 100% honest.
Don't be a lie teller! Tell the truth about who you are and what you're looking for. Always use current pictures of yourself. You don't want to attract someone who’s interested in the person you’re not.

Be specific to attract like minded individuals. Include your likes and dislikes, wants, desires, goals, and dreams.

4. Don't Mention the M-word outright.
There are many ways of saying you’re interested in marriage and commitment without mentioning the words marriage and commitment. You can imply that you're interested in a long term relationship by saying something like "I'm looking to share my life with a special guy.” Save the marriage discussion for the actual date and getting to know each other part.

Don't get me wrong, I believe that women interested in marriage should be upfront about that with the men they date. But you don't want to come off as desperate or overly focused on being married either- it can be a turn off.

5. Write For The Reader.
Put yourself in your ideal mate’s shoes and think about what it is he'd be looking for.

6. This is NOT your final draft.
Don't be afraid to edit. If your profile keeps attracting weirdos, fix it. Keep editing your profile until you get your desired result.

*Addendum 10/25/09. A background check should be part of your vetting process especially when meeting someone online. Don't be afraid to do research on the people you meet and are considering for a serious relationship. It's your life and your safety.

**Addendum 11/09/09. When preparing your online profile, should you be upfront about your dating preferences when it comes to race? That theory has been tested with interesting results. Check out the blog post and discussion courtesy of Black Women's Interracial Relationship Circle.

Is Pedophilia The Last Frontier?

You can view the full article here: The Polanski Culture: Hollywood’s Push to Normalize Sex With Children


The Polanski Culture: Hollywood’s Push to Normalize Sex With Children
by John Nolte

The vocal, sanctimonious Free-Polanski uproar is merely a symptom of an entertainment culture infected with a moral cancer – a culture that regularly practices up on the screen what we’ve heard them preach this last week on behalf of a confessed child rapist.

Last year Miramax released “Doubt ,” a high-profile piece of Oscar-bait starring Academy Award winners’ Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Streep plays a puritanical nun on a moral crusade to expose a Priest (Hoffman) who she believes is sexually abusing a 12 year-old boy. Both characters are portrayed as unsympathetic (especially Streep’s) but in just a couple scenes the boy’s working-class mother (Mrs. Miller, played by Viola Davis) is established as the moral center of the film – the only one truly interested in the welfare of her child. When Mrs. Miller’s informed that her son’s being molested, the Moral Center Of The Film responds that her 12 year-old boy is gay, a social outcast, and beaten regularly by his homophobic father … so maybe the best option for him is a sexual relationship with a forty-something child predator.

Starring Aaron Eckhart, Maria Bello, and written and directed by Oscar-winner Alan Ball , last year’s “Towelhead ” is a film Roman Polanski might have seen many, many times while wearing a rain coat. The protagonist is 13 year-old Jasira (played by the then barely eighteen Summer Bishil) and the story surrounds her sexual abuse at the hands of a number of men, including Eckhart’s Gulf War Vet. Rather than the repeated abuse damaging the young girl, the filmmaker portrays the rapes and molestations as a healthy and sexually liberating experience. More than once the audience is “treated” to lingering shots of Jasira’s bare legs as she discovers the joys of the orgasm while masturbating to photographs of naked women.

Kate Winslet won last year’s Best Actress Oscar for her role in “The Reader ,” in which she plays a “sympathetic” Nazi guilty of mass murder who seduces and then engages in a steamy sexual affair with a 15 year-old boy. The sex scenes between this mature woman and a child lean heavily on the erotic, as opposed to the creepy. (The “sympathetic Nazi” issue we’ll save for another post.)

Yes, in just one year, Hollywood released three films that in one way or another portrayed sex with children as potentially healthy or their molester as sympathetic. And these aren’t fringe, indie films either. All three involve name stars and Oscar winners.

Unfortunately, this is not a conspiracy. Hollywood deviants never gathered together to plan for a slate of films aimed at a drip-drip campaign designed to dull our moral outrage towards the most heinous crime imaginable. It’s worse than that. We’re up against a culture; the same culture that can’t quite grasp why a child rapist should have to serve prison time for a crime he’s confessed to.

And this is how cinematic propaganda works. Whether the filmmaker’s motivations are good or evil, the idea is to get decent and thoughtful people to start second guessing themselves as they’re enveloped in the dark and held captive by the powerful sound and fury of the moving picture. First we’re led to identify and sympathize with a particular character, then that character does something designed to challenge our belief structure. This can range from, “If John Wayne opposes racism, maybe I should,” to, “Well, if a loving mother is okay with it, maybe I need to get a little more nuanced and tolerant about this whole child-rape thing.”

On its face, that may sound laughable, and maybe it is, but that doesn’t mean our eyes are lying to us. Last year merely topped off a campaign targeted at our children that began some time ago.

In 2006’s “Notes on a Scandal ,” Academy Award winner Cate Blanchett plays a school teacher engaged in a steamy sexual affair with one of her students. Like “The Reader,” the sex scenes between a mature woman and her student strive for the erotic and never once does the story stop to examine how such a destructive affair might psychologically affect a teen-aged boy. That same year, in “Little Children ,” Jackie Earle Haley was Oscar-nominated for his support work as a molester just released from prison who’s the victim of that favorite Hollywood whipping boy, suburban hypocrisy. Just two years earlier, Kevin Bacon’s heroic molester in “The Woodsman ” not only saves the day and wins the pretty girl, but in his valiant struggle to “reform” he’s presented as a kind of “civil rights” metaphor as policemen and “intolerant” co-workers torment him.

The award for Most Unsettling, however, must go to 2004’s “Birth ,” where Academy Award winner Nicole Kidman stars as a widow convinced her dead husband has returned in the form of a 10 year-old boy. If watching a near-forty year-old woman exchange longing looks with a little kid isn’t creepy enough, wait till they end up naked in a bathtub together.

Whether it’s true or not that seventy-five years ago Clark Gable nearly bankrupted the t-shirt industry by not wearing one in “It Happened One Night ,” what is true is that billions of dollars are spent annually by advertisers convinced sound and images can alter behavior. You’d have to be a fool to make an argument against the persuasive powers of moving images, but those fools do exist. Most of them are liars.

The Hollywood Left is many things but they’re not fools and they fully understand the power of the medium under their control. Certainly, damning everyone who works in the entertainment world would be unfair, but this is also a culture where only a handful of “names” were willing to speak out against the pro-Polanski movement – including many Leftists who have never been shy about speaking out in the past.

The film industry has a history to be proud of when it comes to opposing racism, homophobia and anti-Semitism. Unfortunately, the most vocal from this current crop seem all too ready to tarnish that legacy as they target our children for profit and worse.

Is it too much to ask of the Hollywood Left that they show as much intolerance towards the sexualization of young children as they do towards conservatives and Christians?

That question has already been answered.



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All The Single Ladies: If You Are Single And Still Finding Yourself…Stop

"Married women would usually be the first to tell you how they stopped doing at least 2 or 3 things on the list before they met their husband or found a new love. "

Weekend Rewind: If You Are Single And Still Finding Yourself…Stop